Do you remember the first time you saw an episode of Jon and Kate + 8? I recall the constant chaos that ensued the Gosselin home. I remember feeling proud of Jon and Kate when they explained their decision to keep all six fetuses, despite doctors’ recommendations to undergo selective reduction (a.k.a. abortion). I remember being impressed by Kate’s uber-organized way of managing her household. And I remember thinking, "I’m glad it’s them and not me."

The latter thought has never entered my mind more than this week. Until now I avoided blogging about this situation because, honestly, what can I say that millions of people have not already voiced on news interviews blogs, online chats and facebook status updates.

However, after Monday night’s episode, I want to share a fresh perspective that perhaps has not been shared as loudly as the many judgments hurdled at the Gosselin home.

We can all gossip, judge, and speculate about the inner-workings of the marriage, and now divorce, of Jon and Kate. Yet ultimately, viewers found themselves drawn to the family element of the show, not the marital relationship.

So let’s turn our focus off the scandal, rumors, and gossip, and focus on the real reason we watch the show . . . the kids.

Kate mentioned that all eight children, twins, Cara and Maddy, and sextuplets, Aiden, Joel, Collin, Leah, Hannah, and Alexis, will reside in the $1.3 million home. Kate and Jon will take turns living there. This might sound strange to some, but it is a custody arrangement that many families are pursuing for several reasons.

First of all, when children shuffle between two homes, they essentially live a double life. They must adapt to different rules, routines, and structure at mom’s house verses dad’s house. The kids keep different sets of clothes, toys, and bedroom décor at each parents’ homes. These things might sound trivial to adults, but they help children form their identity during various developmental stages. If kids bounce between two drastically different environments, their pursuit for character development becomes even more challenging.

In my opinion, if the Gosselin children floated between two homes, they would no doubt struggle with their identities. With eight children in the family, each child already vies for his and hers parents’ attention. Adding two different homes to their lives would force them to deal with the drastic differences between Jon and Kate: their personalities, the way they spend their free time, their discipline styles, the way they run their household, and even the way in which they react to fame.

Also, by allowing the kids to stay in the home, Jon and Kate will reduce the level of anxiety among the children. All eight kids will always know where they will be on any given weekend or holiday. Many kids from divorced families keep calendars to help them remember at which house they will reside on any given day. Fortunately, this will not be the case for the Gosselin children.

Finally, kids post-divorce often feel like they must show loyalty to one particular parent. When children spend time in two different homes, one parent always seems to hold the home court advantage. By allowing the kids to stay in their own home with the parents coming and going, the children become the home team and the parents become the visitors. The kids’ home court advantage reduces the feeling that they need to choose sides with mom or dad.

So, out of a sad, unfortunate, and devastating turn of events, I find one element of this marriage/divorce with which I can agree: the Gosselin children remaining in their home. Whether they live in a million dollar mansion or small cottage home, this arrangement will give them some consistency in an inconsistent family.

Few of us know the Gosselin’s personally, but we can all pray for them. Pray they would feel their parents’ love and God’s love for them. Pray they would find a safe place to express their feelings and fears. And most of all, let’s never stop praying for Jon and Kate. Pray that they would seek reconciliation. Pray that the money, fame, and prestige would not overshadow the commitment they made to one another only 10 years ago. And pray that God would protect our own marriages and families from this type of destruction.